Let’s be honest, initiating sex can be uncomfortable. Especially if you think of the possibility of being rejected. That’s probably why many women leave it for the man to start things up.
In a study conducted among 38 couples; in 60% of the couples, men initiated sex more often than women; in 30% of couples, initiation was equally divided; and in those remaining, the women initiated more frequently. That’s just 10%!
So then, what happens when you want to have sex? Should she wait around until the man feels like it? Well, there’s nothing a little communication can’t fix. Let’s show you how. But first, we will answer a few questions that you have raised through our social media pages.
Is it really important for me to initiate sex?
Yes! It wouldn’t hurt to be the one who initiates sex from time to time. Think of it this way, the goal of initiating sex is not just the sex. It’s also about getting your partner to want it just as much as you do. The same way you want to feel desired he probably does too! While flipping the script and being the initiator can make him feel more desired it comes with so much empowerment as a woman and it can spike up the sex too!
It is quite common and healthy for couples to have different sexual needs and desires. Discussing these differences creates an opportunity for your partner to learn your preferences in regards to frequency, intensity, what you like and so on. Open and honest communication can improve your sex life which ultimately contributes to a better relationship and who doesn’t want a sexually fulfilling relationship?
How can I go about it?
1. Speak up
Have you ever heard of the saying a closed mouth doesn’t get fed? Well, it means just that! No matter how well your partner knows you, he probably can’t read your mind. You’ll need to be comfortable with saying it out loud. Feel free to verbalise your desire for your partner using compliments, humour and even talking dirty.
2. Put in a text
If speaking out loud is hard for you, try texting. Lucky for you, we now have a mobile phone and there are various ways to go about it. You could wait for the end of the day and use words to express what’s on your mind to give a feel of what’s in store. That slow and long build-up via text can be really hot if done right. Alternatively, when words fail, visualise! You can send a sexy photo of yourself showing a little cleavage from your low cut top to get him excited. To always be on the safe side (not like he would share it) but just leave your face out of it, just in case someone else gets to see it.
3. Be direct
Sometimes saying it as it is can go a long way. Just go straight to the point and you could be surprised how quick he responds to your ask. Not only does it give him a clear idea of what you want, but it also allows you to get exactly what you need at the time. Doing this gives you control over the mood, the location and the pace.
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4. Dress the part
Look nice intentionally. In most scenarios, you know exactly what your partner likes or prefers. So whether it is some nice comfy clothes or that sexy lace or fishnets, get it out and give it a try. It could just do the trick.
5. Be the masseuse
Offer your partner a nice relaxing massage perhaps it’s what you need to set the stage and the mood for the happy ending. Again you know what he likes so do exactly that and everything else is likely to flow effortlessly.
6. Leave some clues
When all else fails leave some clues and hints and make them as obvious as possible. You could do this with words, jokes, touch, background slow music, what you wear, a romantic candlelit dinner and many other things, you know your partner best. Depending on your partner's preferences. This can be a fun way of getting both of you in the right frame of mind.
Wrapping up
As we have covered, there are many tips and tricks that can be applied to initiate sex. These are just a few of them but do not feel limited to channelling your creativity and exploring outside your comfort zone. Having open communication on sex with your partner may be what you need to spice up your sex life and create a more intimate and fulfilling relationship.
After all, what a man can do, a woman can do while bleeding. ;)
Stay informed, Stay in control. Can you think of any other tips? Share in the comments